"Women are the first enemies of women"

"Women are the first enemies of women"

By Marta Mancosu

It often happens to be envious or envious of what other people have or are. It often happens that envy ruins our state of mind and makes us mature within us that side of character that we really wanted to avoid.
It happens when we are teenagers, it happens when we see our friend with that game that we like so much too but that we can't have.

It happens when we see that girl dressed in those crazy jeans and wish we had them, or when that beautiful body makes us feel uglier and we envy those perfect hips and hair.
It happens to everyone, it happens to everyone; I am convinced that, at least once in your life, you have experienced that somewhat immature and material envy towards someone or someone. Whether it's actually a normal and physiological reaction of growing up or just being human I don't know, but I know for sure that in my adolescent experience it has happened several times.
And then? What happens? It happens that we grow up, we become "grown up" and the important things become different; space is left for indispensable values ​​such as happiness, serenity, independence and an attempt is made to find a general balance, from work to family, love and friendships.

Solidarity is a value that probably (it's not always like this, unfortunately) is inherent in every person; there are those who express it right away and there are those who, on the other hand, need more time and more maturity to bring it out into the open. Certainly age is a major factor in this process: the "me" of now is clearly more supportive than the "me" of the past, especially as regards the issue that interests us here. Which, exactly?
Female solidarity, of course.
Female solidarity is a fundamental, essential issue, especially in the the society we still live in today, in 2021.

We have talked and will always talk about how much work there is to do to fight stereotypes , rape culture, sexism, violence and gender inequality ; than we have to push to break down taboos , to demonstrate that we have a voice and we have a body and that we shouldn't be judged just for this. We will always talk about how difficult it is to face challenges on a daily basis, sometimes lost from the start, because the world we live in but above all the country we live in laughs at us, does not take us seriously and gives us a time limit to report a rape.
Female solidarity should be the strongest weapon we have left, because together we make a difference, it's always been like this.

We should be united , we should be bound by something strong capable of breaking down all those thick walls made of envy, malice, jealousy, negativity, free offenses and threats.
It should, I'm saying right, we should, I stress. I use the conditional because unfortunately, too often, this is not exactly the case. In fact, it happens that the phrase that has become mainstream (and more specifically, a stereotype) "women are the first enemies of women" acquires truth. Being sympathetic to other women is a very difficult action for some women; just think that there are women who offend other women for the simple fact of having made a career, of being mothers and also of having a good, fruitful job. In short, it seems that for many women it cannot be both. Not to mention the gratuitous offenses that are read on social networks; sexist comments that start right from women, the same ones who should (and again, should) know well how it feels to be hit and offended, whether it's for physical appearance, for a low-cut dress, an unpolished nail or anything else visible on a photo (or in person, of course).

Female solidarity remains the only weapon we have to make each other stronger, but we also need to know how to cultivate and nurture it, we need to know how to keep it as if it were the most precious treasure we have, because once that disappears, well, dear friends, let's start worry (as if we weren't worried enough already).
Female solidarity must be stronger than what society and this country want to impose on us, than all the rules, all the stereotypes that surround us, all the wickedness and all the knowledge that concerns us, as women.
Being in solidarity with each other means supporting each other, supporting each other, sharing all the victories: of life, of work, of career, of sport, of love, of family, every smallest particle that can make us proud and happy of who we are and we have.

Being in solidarity with one another means not destroying us, not sabotaging us, but on the contrary, rejoicing in our goals, being welcoming, offering comfort, holding each other in help, sharing a pain, shielding each other when we are weaker, applauding when we achieve something that it is important for us, to tell each other how beautiful we are like this, to appreciate each other, not to judge us, but to be understanding, accomplices, united together in the same struggle.
All very nice, but all very complex.
It's complex, yes, because we grow up in a space and time where the rule "if you're beautiful you're lucky" - "if you're ugly you're unlucky and you'll never do anything in life" applies.
It's complex, yes, because the movies tell us, the TV series and television itself tell us; slowly things change, but we still grow and unfortunately with a good team of stereotypes in mind.

The group of hot girls from school vs. the group of “ugly nerds”, this is what they show us; an open-air clash between school factions, a continuous desire to appear mixed with a continuous desire to be someone else.
It is complex, yes, because in 2021 it is still too easy and common to attack a woman for what she says, for what she decides to post on her social profiles, for what she decides to wear, for how she wears makeup, for earning a good salary but at the same time she is a normal girl who likes to take pictures, go dancing and live the good life. It is still too easy and common to hear despicable comments coming from women about other women and, as you well know, Chiara Ferragni is perhaps the most striking example.
We need female solidarity to survive together, let's try not to bury it and lose it forever.
Let's stop pointing fingers and start hugging each other more, even if at a distance.
“Unity is strength”, let's get it into our heads.

Martha